Good God, I Forgot My Password

Holy Cow. Five months since my last post so forgive what will most likely prove to be one of the most narcissistic and self-centered posts ever. Not that anyone even comes to this site any more, I’m sure. I couldn’t even remember what my password is. I don’t know what caused me to come here tonight. Nothing of what is constantly roaming around my mind is anything like something I would want to put down in print. I think about Arthur Dent a lot, and Ford, I sometimes wish I could get lost 2 million years ago on prehistoric Earth for a few years. Grow a beard, put a bone in it, you know, the usual contemplative, catharsis-inducing activities. Waking up some mornings it’s all I can do not to choose madness and start talking to trees; pure will I tell ya.

It’s been five months because for five months there has been little admirable about my life. I’ve behaved badly and paid dearly for it. Maybe I’ve watched Aliens too many times, but I have this constant visual of being sucked out into space, there to die a slow, agonizing, imploding death. Maybe that was just my spirit. Creativity escapes me. Oh, well, creative test taking and job performance, yea, I’ve got those at least. Otherwise I’m shooting blanks right now. Four years ago I was on to something, four years ago I had it all worked out. It was something about exercise, a healthy body leading to a healthy mind leading to a healthy soul. I was on the brink of revelation and somehow missed the mark. I really, really needed to finish that. ‘Now, matters are worse.’

Oh god, what am I bitching about?