Whirlwind

Madness is rife right now. I'm failing math with a solid 55%, a grade I have never before achieved. I should have taken this semester off really. Or done it differently to begin with I guess. This may sound like I'm griping, but it isn't intended so. Between Katja's arrival and the seemingly neverending social calendar, I have somehow slipped back to a place where procrastination is the rule of thumb applied to all obligatory aspects of life, and shameless indulgence is to all those 'extracurricular' opportunities. Ugh. There are fewer than 4 weeks left in which I can get my act together.

I keep experiencing these moments where all I want to do is throw the towel in and go get a real job again. I can't TELL you how many times I've run through that in my head. Fuck a duck. It's like, "if I weren't taking classes then I wouldn't be stressing about classes and homework undone and tests not taken, because these classes (that I wouldn't be taking) would not matter at all to me. So therefore by that argument, these classes (that I am in fact taking) don't matter at all to me (except for Art History of course) because I've somehow tricked myself into a state of mind where, although I am enrolled and do in fact attend most class periods, I'm thinking like I'm not actually 'in school' so nothing I do (or in most cases, don't do) matters."

See what I'm getting at? And I have, conservatively, since this week is a nothing week anyway what with the holiday, two weeks to get my act together, learn the math, take the tests, parli italiano and do an art project with it's roots in urban graffiti culture. So I say it once again:

Fuck a duck.