She is Gone

So I am once again alone in a house built for more than just me. The New Years party I never intended to have can't come soon enough for me, if only so that I can be surrounded by loved ones - however briefly. It is so difficult to say goodbye to someone you love. She worked for and won herself the first ever sebbatical leave from a job that doesn't allow that kind of thing. She chose to spend a year of her life away from everything she knows, just to see if this crazy thing with a boy from California might work out to be more than either of us ever thought possible.

And I thank her for that. She will never know the depth my gratitude runs, it is the single most trusting, selfless, and beautiful gift anyone has ever given me. We had a crazy time this year, it was a year of discovery for both of us. From seeing the national highlights of 4 states inside of two weeks, to purchasing black market documents in the interests of continuing education, Katja and I had more fun, adventure, strife, love, and epiphanical awakening than I thought possible for people our age.

2004 is a year for the books as far as I am concerned.

I don't know what is coming, or where I'm going, or where any one person I know will be even a week from now... nor do I know what familiar face out of my past will walk by me on the street (as has happened an uncanny number of times this week...), but i Know, wherever I go and what-so-ever I do in this world, I have a partner that time, distance and hardship cannot break from me -- nor I from her.

What DMB song are you?

Say Goodbye

This quiz got me, hands down my favorite DMB song....

Holiday Thoughts

This year of the Monkey has been a whirlwind, the world has seen tremendous change, as have the lives of individuals both near and far. It has been a year filled with joy and sorrow, Good times and also close calls, dear friends departing this world before their time, while new friends have come into my life like fresh bursts of wind across my face.

There is much to be thankful for, and maybe this message would have been better written a couple of weeks ago, but right now is the time when my thoughts have become cohesive. Strangely, this should be a time of happiness, when family comes together and friends return from travels. Somehow though, I feel removed from the gaiety around me, aside from one brave foray the day after Thanksgiving, I have avoided going out in public during the busy hours, and much of my time has been spent preparing for times that are not here yet instead of looking to the moment for satisfaction.

There are so many things I want to remember from this year. I have been lucky to have the love of my life with me almost the whole year, a gift whose worth has no measure, and for which I thank her for making possible with my whole heart. I have played homely host for new friends from lands abroad, and with them I had the opportunity to explore the lands near my home that I have never seen. It is easy to razz a friend who lives in Berlin for never having visited Paris, but now I understand a little this desire in we travelers to see lands afar before that which lies in our backyard.

We live in a beautiful land! I fulfilled a life long wish to bath beneath a towering waterfall this year, and seen many of the great natural wonders this firmament boasts. The long road, just when it seems to have finally come to an end, insists upon turning another corner and offering some new distant vista at which to aim; thus does my adventure continue to grow with the passing of time.

I want to remember my good friend, Jedidiah Brooks, who's passing from this world created a rift of emptiness in the hearts of many, for he was loved and respected by all who met him. He was a man who would always greet a friend as though years lay between them, when perhaps it was only yesterday that last I hugged him.

I want to remember my dear Aunt Catherine and Uncle Max, who too long ago left me here and continued on together. I think of them everyday, and if I had one wish for this christmas and every christmas hence, it would be to spend even one more day with them, laying in our bags by the fireside, with only the stars to hear us. You are sorely missed.

I miss friends who live a stone's throw from here, and I miss friends who's voices I have not heard for too long. Time is not getting easier to understand, even though with each day I have more experience with it than the last.

Days of joy have there been as well. Endless summer days and nights, one after the other after the next. Changing skies with changing latitudes, changing perspectives too. I have doggy love, and Hannah knows it. I am blessed with so many wonderful friends, you are all loved; I thank each of you, my life would be so much less bright without you.

In these days of change, it is sometimes best to look to one's own fences and neighbors, family and friends, and speak warm, kind words to strangers we meet. For it is only through love that we will know peace.

Happy Holidays to all.

I'm a Nerd (but just barely....)

You are 55% geek

You are a geek. Good for you! Considering the endless complexity of the universe, as well as whatever discipline you happen to be most interested in, you'll never be bored as long as you have a good book store, a net connection, and thousands of dollars worth of expensive equipment. Assuming you're a technical geek, you'll be able to afford it, too. If you're not a technical geek, you're geek enough to mate with a technical geek and thereby get the needed dough. Dating tip: Don't date a geek of the same persuasion as you. You'll constantly try to out-geek the other.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

Eine Nachricht aus Kalifornien

It has been a while since my last post, and in fact I have to say I am not altogether pleased with how I've been using this new found fun-ness called Blogger but, whatever man, it's the end of term and I'm up to my ears in it right now. IF I can get myself out of the semester without smelling like a horse stall I'll be happy (and lying on a beach in Baja for 10 days I might add....)

At any rate, for those english only folks out there, this one isn't for you....

Hallo meine Lieben aus Deutschland! Es ist jetzt sehr lange her seit unserem letzten Kontakt; und, muss ich sagen, ich vermisse alle euch ganz ganz viel. Ich bin jetzt in meinem Prufung zeit mit der Schule und ich habe keine Zeit und auch keine Lust zu tun was ich muss. Also, hier ist ein paar kleine Gruesse von mir.

Ich weiss wie kalt es ist jetzt in Deutschland, aber vielleicht die Bilder und meine Stimme aus diese Nachricht kann euch ein bisschen waermen. Ich denke an euch sehr oft, besonders an unsere Abenteuer von diesem Jahr. In einigen Wochen werdet ihr wieder eure Katja, oder Perle oder Katinka haben. Dann werde ich hier allein sein mit nur meine wunderschoener Erinnerungen. Ich muss Danke sagen, das Ihr den ganze weg hierher gekommen seit, um zu sehen woher der verrueckte kumpel aus Kalifornien kommt. Es war ein grosses Vergnuegen euch hier zu haben.




Also bleibt warm, und sag hallo zu alle Freunde wem ich habe vergessen (oder kein email adresse haben....)

Frohe Feiertage zu alle!

In Liebe,
p.